Want To Smile??

Well, I figured it was time of another joke! It has been awhile, and we need something to lighten the mood. If this doesn't get you laughing I don't know what will!! :)

Mistakes on a resume

These are from actual resumes:

"Personal: I'm married with 9 children. I don't require prescription drugs. "

"I am extremely loyal to my present firm, so please don't let them know of my immediate availability."

"Qualifications: I am a man filled with passion and integrity, and I can act on short notice. I'm a class act and do not come cheap."

"I intentionally omitted my salary history. I've made money and lost money. I've been rich and I've been poor. I prefer being rich."

"Note: Please don't misconstrue my 14 jobs as 'job-hopping'. I have never quit a job."

"Number of dependents: 40."

"Marital Status: Often. Children: Various."

RESUME BLOOPERS

"Here are my qualifications for you to overlook."

REASONS FOR LEAVING THE LAST JOB:

"Responsibility makes me nervous."

"They insisted that all employees get to work by 8:45 every morning. Couldn't work under those conditions."

REASONS FOR LEAVING MY LAST JOB:

"Was met with a string of broken promises and lies, as well as cockroaches."

"I was working for my mom until she decided to move."

"The company made me a scapegoat - just like my three previous employers."

JOB RESPONSIBILITIES:

"While I am open to the initial nature of an assignment, I am decidedly disposed that it be so oriented as to at least partially incorporate the experience enjoyed heretofore and that it be configured so as to ultimately lead to the application of more rarefied facets of financial management as the major sphere of responsibility."

"I was proud to win the Gregg Typting Award."

SPECIAL REQUESTS & JOB OBJECTIVES:

"Please call me after 5:30 because I am self-employed and my employer does not know I am looking for another job."

"My goal is to be a meteorologist. But since I have no training in meteorology, I suppose I should try stock brokerage."

"I procrastinate - especially when the task is unpleasant."

PHYSICAL DISABILITIES:

"Minor allergies to house cats and Mongolian sheep."

PERSONAL INTERESTS:

"Donating blood. 14 gallons so far."

SMALL TYPOS THAT CAN CHANGE THE MEANING:

"Education: College, August 1880-May 1984."

"Work Experience: Dealing with customers' conflicts that arouse."

"Develop and recommend an annual operating expense fudget."

"I'm a rabid typist."

"Instrumental in ruining entire operation for a Midwest chain operation."

Special thanks to http://www.ahajokes.com/ for the wonderful material!!

http://www.thehomecenters.com/

http://www.thehomecenters.com

I have spent the morning researching "blogging". What does it mean, how is it effective, who really reads the blogs, how do we reach our target area? What I have found is a huge list of "do's" and don'ts" Don't be too personal, don't be too much about your business and what you are selling (that tends to turn people off, because they want to get to know you personally??). Do post often and find key-words and research your market area and link into others who are authorities in your area of business....etc.

Honestly, it's all overwhelming! Here at the Home Center I hope our blog would create an information station as to who we really are! First, we are people, just like you. We are moms, dads, grandpas, grandmas, aunts, uncles...just like you. We have likes and we have dislikes... just like you! Some of us our really into sports, play sports, watch sports...just like you. Some of us are soccer moms, some of us can hit a golf ball every now and then, others of us prefer to snuggle up to a good book or movie after work. People...just like you.

We are also people who shop. We have to fill our cupboards with food, we have to provide clothing for our children, we occasionally enjoy a dinner out. The one thing that stands out more than anything as a shopper is being treated as a person, not a number. So many times businesses seem to treat the consumer like a number, herd them in, herd them out. There seems to be less time and attention spent on treating people like a person!

Here at the Home Center we are dedicated to treating our customer's like people, since that's what we all are. We are so grateful to the customers walking through our doors. We want to offer you our time and attention to welcome you in and provide personal service. It's so hard to find anymore...SERVICE! We are large enough to provide for your needs, but small enough to care when you walk through our doors! Without you, we would not be here!

We offer wonderful merchandise that fits into most budgets. We spend great time and effort in finding the best possible values as well as quality. We train our staff to have the answers on every item in our stores, so we are able to find exactly what you are looking for!

At the Home Center you will find such a tremendous assortment of sofa and love seats. Not only do we keep them in stock, but if we don't have what you are looking for we will work aggressively to get it for you. Most of our sets come with lifetime warranties and offer extended warranties on the cushions so you can feel confident in the quality. Not only do we offer quality, but we provide value. We strive to accommodate every budget!

We also have a tremendous selection of mattresses. We offer guest bedroom quality on up to premium Latex and Memory Foam mattresses! We have the right mattress for you with wonderful savings to make it easy on your pocketbook.

At the Home Center we not only offer sofas and love seats and mattresses, but we have bunk beds, daybeds, recliners, dining sets, bedroom groups, lamps and home accessories. We offer a knowledgeable staff, friendly atmosphere and above and beyond, our people are here to meet your needs and service you. If you are in the market for furniture, we strongly suggest you head into one of our showrooms today!

Something to Think About

- Insight-

A new day, a new start.

Some days you realize just how important life can be. Hot sun at your back, soft shoes under your feet, full tank of gas, a nice brimming cup of coffee in hand. The simple pleasures of life.

Think of the things that can make you smile.

A smile from your child, a peace offering from an old friend, a simple email from a long lost family member, a gift of life, even things such as a deal on an item you have always wanted, getting that new car you wanted, spending wisely when normally you get in over your head, it is the little things we live for, isn't it?

Everyone wants something. Whether it be money, a home, comfort, love, there is always something. And more often then not it seems it is just out of reach.

Take a moment and look at what you have. Right now! Look at the things in front of you. The things that really matter. Happy kids playing with their toys, a sunny day that splashes light about, a computer humming as your fingers drum against the keys. It's the small simple pleasures of life. To wake up and be thankful for the job you have, or for the care you carry from family and friends, the health you have.

Live your days thankful for your surroundings. Live your days as each one was the last! Fear nothing, and fight hard, life is here and now, and in your grasp! Don't regret. Simply live!


http://www.thehomecenters.com